Paano Ba?

Paano ba maging dalawa?

Para kahit paano, hindi ako mag-isa.

Paano maging tatlo?

Para maging “Just the Three of Us” at

Hindi lang “Just One”, ang kwento.

Paano ba? May ideya ka ba?

Kase ako wala, ngunit gustong gusto

Ko nang kumawala

Sa pagiging mag-isa, oo,

Palagi na lang akong mag-isa.

Kahit minsan tatlo tayo,

Pero madalas, pakiramdam ko,


Hindi ako alone, tama,

Pero pakiramdam ko,

Napaka-lonely ko.



When you was young, I thought life is easy

You smile, frown, laugh, giggles, etc.

But in the middle of those emoticons,

You’ve realized that life’s not the first thought you knew.

Life gets harder and harder,

From the simple dilemma’s to a huge one

There’s no control, and there’s no limit

Once it started, it seems no end.

And in the middle of every problems you encounter,

There’s always a chance to escape,

To temporarily flee and to incise your breath

The idea of ending the life that is not yours; not mine.

And then you’ll think and think another one

Other solutions to your problems

The harder you struggle, the harder you strive

But then you think, the solutions are up there above.

The idea of ending the life that is not yours; not mine.

And then you’ll think and think another one

Other solutions to your problems

The harder you struggle, the harder you strive

But then you think, the solutions are up there above.


Just Friend



I met you in an instance,

At an unexpected moment,

And at an unexpected time,

It’s called a destiny; a friendship destiny.


You’ve been good and nice,

Since from the first conversation,

Up to the last one,

Those were the memories that will never go away.


Dear, Friend, Sister,

Consider you as member of my family tree,

One of my big and immense sisters,

And one of my best of friends.


Thank you for the care and love,

Friend, you’ll always be,

The one I adore and begotten,

My best friend and still just friend.















Hoping it’s U


“Everybody does not want to be alone, but sometimes you have no choice but to be alone.”


I am struggling for the last 20 years now, and it doesn’t get any better. Sometimes in the middle of my thoughts, I think all of my problems and suddenly find myself crying, crying.  I am ready to face any challenges right now, because I reach my limits and dwell with it.

I am 20 years old and still struggling for a father’s love, a father’s hug every time I went home or maybe a forehead kisses that any guy would do right now, but there’s nothing. Every time I am alone, I am thinking what the mistakes we did, I think that over a millionth times already. But still, there are no answers coming from him, still he’s far away, far away from me, from us. Maybe right now, I am not envious or jealous for the couple roaming around the park, posting anniversaries on IG or on Facebook. Maybe, right now, I am not broken by someone who’s not worth it because right now, I am the girl, now a lady, longing for a father, longing for the affection and attention. Right now, I am broken by the person I love the most and cheated by the person I trusted most.  Yes, I am still longing for him, making myself believe that it is still a dream, still a hallucination that I always think since day one. But that’s not the real score now. I am already 20 years old but still a child by heart, waiting for the moment that one day, a guy will come at home and it will be Dad.



I really don’t know what to feel anymore.


I’m stuck with the idea of “nothing’s permanent in this world”


But here I am, trying to believe that somewhere in the horizon, there’s a possibility of its existence.


I met you in the most unexpected way possible and I can’t imagine that those conversations we had been too way possible. At first, it’s very awkward to share moments with you but as my hearts beats, I can tell that yours too.  Maybe the sympathy of having a broken family lies. And that were all began.


We’re totally best friends. I can’t imagine that on the first place, but it just happened.


We shared moments though not in personal but I know, you are real. Those laughter’s and chuckles I made because of you. The deep and the weirdest conversation we had, kept me breathless.

And then the day came that you confessed feelings for me, and I manage to ignore it. I don’t want to lose that conversation we had after all. I don’t want to lose the friendship and the connection we had.

Then that started that I feel those chills AGAIN.


Really? I don’t want to fall for you, because I don’t want that kind of pain again. But, this heart won’t mind, because I fall, like this fallen world did.


Yes, and I really fell.


And not that, I like you and I adore you so much that loosing you hurts me deeply.


It’s like I’m taking those poisons that yours probably.


And then suddenly, you disappeared like my father did.


I really miss you.


I really miss those late night conversations with you.

Those conversations up until the morning,


When will be the day? Again?