Collectively dropping all the despites in my head right now. I’m trying not to notice all the red flags, but how? Since the pandemic started, I know in my head that it will be a roller coaster ride, from the communication up until the last details of us. But inspite of everything, the one thing that keeps me going is you, the very idea of you. Every passing day during the quarantine, I kept on saying that it’s just the same scenario we’re in, its just that it is longer maybe. Also, I think that it’s a good thing because we keep on missing each other every time, but this time, totally different.
On the passed weeks that you’re being able to have your own job despite of stilling pursuing your degree, I supported you, and know that I’m the proudest. But one thing confuses me, am I still part of your growth? Am I? The grandest idea took me breathless every time we talk after your work, because I felt that I’m not belong anymore, or maybe its just me and my wild imaginations after all. Even though how hard I try to ask you some questions for me to be still and to not overreact about anything that’s been going through my head, I cannot. And I know you know the reason why, because you’re not that person, you do not want dramas and “hanash” in life, well in fact, I want that. Maybe I’m too obsessed with the idea of the movies and series that I watched, and I lost at that. But one thing I know is certain, although there are too many undecided and clueless things happening between us ; I know certainly that I do love you the way I did the first time I know I fell. From that moment, I know that it will grow tremendously, because you’re not hard to love. yes, because I fell hard.
And even though how hard I keep my sanity be as it is, you’re the one of the few things that keeps it. So the idea of giving up will never be on my head, because we I know I can’t. On the few things that we had also this kind of struggle, you never did, so did I. I will always fight for the love we had. I love you, always.
thebestofthy 